Sensable people these days
... have so many rational thoughts.
And I know theyre right. I sound like a complete doufus wishing I could be with Trevor. And a day went by and I thought I was okay and over it and healing and then Sean had this whole anythings possible speech with me...
and well....
i had hope again. And i always will have hope cuz in one who hopes no matter what. Maybe its tied to my imagination I don't know.
Trev has a diff life now doesnt he?
New school, new friends, new start.
Why would he want to be around me. I am quite the irrational thinker arent I.
Or perhaps the dreamer of dreams.
But in either case I can't act irrational no matter what my brain thinks or my heart wishes.
Life goes on.... i have a great life. I'm happy with it. I dont know its just those weeks were something i never had before.
And I hate that I lost that. And I hate that no ones Trevor. And even if they were I STILL wouldnt like them because theyre not TREVOR TREVOR!
So what do I do? Someone wanna share that with me? What do I do now?
Because I don't want to move on honestly, but reality tells me I have to. I need to live the life I know with the people that are here.
If I'm gonna dream I've got to work for it too. And as of now I am only sitting around dreaming in hiding. And as of now theres not much I can change. So right now I've just got to live, and save my dreams for night. Where I can sleep, and for a few hours... dream
---------
aqCobrA (12:26:30 AM): i dont want to sleep
atlfalcons4 2 (12:26:45 AM): dont worry
atlfalcons4 2 (12:26:53 AM): i'll dream about you tonight
atlfalcons4 2 (12:27:05 AM): ill meet you in our dreams ok?
aqCobrA (12:27:08 AM): i'll dream about you as well
aqCobrA (12:27:14 AM): and so we will
atlfalcons4 2 (12:27:27 AM): :-)
aqCobrA (12:46:52 AM): or ill fall asleep on the comp
atlfalcons4 2 (12:47:04 AM): haha i understannnd
aqCobrA (12:47:08 AM): and youll get something like dsfjklglkdfjds (my head hitting the board)
aqCobrA (12:47:18 AM): and then ill just disapper
atlfalcons4 2 (12:47:25 AM): we would probably fall asleep at the exact same time
atlfalcons4 2 (12:47:28 AM): because we are psychically linked
aqCobrA (12:47:59 AM): and we'd have all the time in our dreams to be together and id be happy, because in my dreams i be in your arms, and see you smile
------------------------
I need to stop. Seriously... people have family and close friends DIE everyday and THEY cope. People come and go everyday out of lives. People move unlike me whos still living the life she always knew.
I have no reason to be in so deep.
I'll SAY I'm moving on
11:40 p.m. - Friday, Aug. 06, 2004
Recent entries:
The book day one - 12-05-06
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names of summer - 06-01-06
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