Wow, I really don't know what was wrong with me the last two days but I was really out of character and it sort of scares me that I was like that for no reason.
I think I was trying to be happy or something.
So last night I talked to Mitch and we got in a huge fight becasaeu he didnt call and such things and the bottom line is, i told him he comes over to my house today or thats the end of us for good.
He said: nice knowing you
I figure if thats how much he actaully cares after all we've been through...
Its really sad though to realize that he wont even do that simple thing for me. He'd rather not know me than stop by my house.
So he said he would, and then changed it to 'ill try, you never know i may car car troubles'
I said make whatever excuse you want good or bad, im not taking it, its you come, or ur not in my life. I dont think he understands that.
I talked to Andy..... yes... Andy. And at the end of the convo before I went to sleep I seriously thanked god for him. He was so helpful and at frist was like 'mitch is my friend and he loves you and i want you with him' but later he was like honestly jess you have put up with so much from him its pretty impressive, i think the only thing is to leave him so he realizes what hes missing.
I said if i leave, im seriously moving on, im not coming back after and Andy said that would hit mitch pretty hard.
But I told Andy that I was afraid because hes finally nice to me and I love all Mitch's friends and I don't wanna lose that... And hes like 'We wont be friends!?!?!' and he said we'd definatly chill a lot and i wouldnt lose him as a friend because I've gained him full respect. He also was like "i was at my grandmas today and was gonna stop by ur house and say hi'... that made me so sad... why can andy do that so chill like and mitch wont do it at all...
Mitch is seriously the most insecure person i know. And Andy know's Mitch is losing me after today even if Mitch thinks its just like always.
Mitch never calls, always ignores me, and thinks I'm gonna come running back.... which i did. Now I dont.
So Andy sent me songs to make me happy like 99 problems and such and he like pretended he was a meditation tape. It was a lot for one night but I'm not scared of Andy Bricker any more and I trust him. Hes the only one who prevented me from bawling last night and had me go to sleep with a confident simle.
No no, he wasnt the only one. Troy was REALLY nice. Like he was so hesitant in saying....Jess, hes on gonna come... and i was like I KNOW haha! (not laughing cuz i was actaully so depressed at that time) but so he was like LETS LOOK AT PICTURES. And I mean yes its weird that i analyze porn wiht him but it did make me smile, and then halfway things got really bad and hes like well what do you wanna see? and i said dick cuz they were all like girls, so he did that for me. And I looked of pictures of dicks all night (in an analyzing way)
Andy Jones called (prank called me AGAIN) haha i was like hey andy...blah blah sorry i cant talk... im depressed, ex bf... whatever and like jsut shut my phone cuz i was so sad and HE got online and was really sincere.
I don't understand how they can all be so nice...while mitch is such an asshole and wont do anything. Like he wont even go to a movie and hes like hanging out one on one is so stupid!
Well its up to him...
he wont come
seriously...theres like no way he will
but he will think ill take him back
ive given him a year of my life with nothing in return
if he wont even come by my freaking house....
well, i wasted a lot of precious time
9:19 a.m. - 2004-07-21
Recent entries:
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