Every person in your life will teach you something. They will teach you about yourself or they will teach you about the world around you, and if you cant find one of those, they helped you enjoy life in some way.
Tonight was the first night I've ever danced.. and I was HORRIBLE!
Haha but we were all, ell me and the awkward boys were, bad but it was amazing.
Next year I'm leaving and I'm not going to see most of these people again, or at least the boys I met there because I don't really know them, but with them I had such a great time.
During 8675309 i just looked at them all doing these retarded dances and little hops backwards in a row and was so overcome with happiness tears were in my eyes. THIS is life, being so impartial to what anyone else cares about you and just having fun!
These were the type of people I used to look at and be wonder wtf they were thinking doing that to themselves while I'd stand around dull and bored. But life with out fun and enjoying yourself is no life to live.
And yes as we danced I thought about death and why we are on this planet, I do that so many times a day its probably weird, but honestly, we have so long then we will be dead THERE IS NO REASON TO STAND AROUND!
Johnny brought out my dancing. Haha so did Hillary, Jes, Alexa, Nicole and Liz a ton actually. But with him he was so awkward at the beginning and asking for lessons and standing like me.. but then he totally opened up and looked retarded and he cant dance at all!... but he was happy and had a good time...and i realized I WANT that... so i did that, haha and I suck but i loved it so much.
Getting ready was awesome even tho i was a secluded stick in the mud haha. But Jes looked so gorgeous all made up, and Alexas hair was amazing even tho she didnt like it, and I looked at Hillary in the mirror during this one song and was like wow...beautiful. Nicoles makeup looked great I loved her eyes, and I'm just now starting to wonder where Adam stayed while we were all upstairs....
Pictures galore, I want them so i can remember this night forever. I'm not going to lie... I thought about Nick a lot. I thought of his confidence becuase i love it so much and how id feel if i were dancing with HIM and how unscared id be. But I realized that I gained my own confidence tonight and I dont think I could have done that with any other people.
Johnny asked me out, I said to wait because I dont know him and only met him a week ago, I hope he doesnt get the wrong impression that i dont like him or anything. I just know if i had said yes it would have been awkward and I would have grown to resent him. I need to know someone so well before I can be with them in a relationship.
I'm back in my sweats being all comfy on this night that feels like walking home from Christmas Eve Mass.
It's beautiful and wonderful, as is life.
11:02 p.m. - Saturday, Oct. 16, 2004
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