I am in so much pain that I am practically the whole way dead inside.
My lungs are full of so much energy that they are smothered and I cannot breathe and all I'll I've done all day is shake.
God damnit I miss Nick.
No words that I can type here can express how much I miss him or how much this is ripping me apart. I'm empty and losing everything that is me.
Imagine the person you love the most, imagine watching them getting stuck with knives and screaming that they hate you at the same time. Maybe its something like that.
I can't do anything about it. He will never love me.
I will always love him.
And it kills me, hopefully I'll jsut die.
3:49 p.m. - Monday, Oct. 11, 2004
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