Ramen Noodles, Mango Drink, Swiss Army� Memories fade over time and I know that with Trevor I don�t want to forget the details or the little things that will remind me of him. I know I met him for a reason and knowing him for the little time that I have I�ve learned so much. And for me Trevor is a highly respectable person because of that. I will stand up for you and respect you if you have taught me morals and helped me become a better person. Trevor at in every way is amazing to me and honestly� If I took every guy that I�ve liked so far in my life and extracted the things I liked about them and the good qualities that I now want because of those guys, they would equal Trevor.
And perhaps that�s how it always is. You learn what you want so when you find it you embrace the fact that you�ve finally found what you�re looking for. Trevor is right now� my perfect man. Ohhh Trevor�. Thinking about him makes me smile so big. He�s such a character and I love it to death. I love the way he talks and accentuates words and the way he acts crazy and picks me up and carries me around and the way he kisses so softly. I love how he gives me back massages and how we take naps together even though we never actually slept. I love that we watched Step By Step and Family Matters and Full House and Boy Meets World and I love how we read part of a book together. I admire the way he cares about others and how he is the least selfish person I have ever met because he puts the needs of others before himself and I admire how he�s so smart and took such advanced classes in State High.
Trevor is going somewhere in life. There�s no doubt in my mind.
He is my other half but I�m wondering how that is since there are so many things that I admire about him that I am not. At heart�. We are the same and in the way we think and view the world. And now I hope my actions will positively affect people in life the way his has.
Everything happens for a reason. I know meeting Trev had its. I haven�t known him long, he won�t live here many more days, but I will always know him. And even if we lose touch and he gets his new Florida life and adapts and State College fades out I will always hold what he taught me in my heart and mind and strive to be more in the things I admire. People come and go in life, it�s a given fact and it�s not changeable but once you meet someone you take a little piece of them with you. And whether it greatly affect you down the road or not much at all, you�re life is changed in a way.
To this day I remember people from months ago who went through a grocery line once. I never knew their names or really anything about them, but I learned that I nice complement goes a long way or how not to act to people you don�t know, or perhaps people in general. And I�m pretty sure they never thought of me again. I doubt they know they helped me in life because I was only the person who bagged their groceries one of the many times in their life that they went to the super market.
I guess that goes both ways. Maybe I impact people when I don�t think I am. I almost don�t like how every action I take has some effect on someone else. It makes me second guess what I should do because at times I know I�m the most irrational thinker. But I tend to follow my heart and hope I get to the right place. I�m not one for fancy money or popularity, I�m one who does what she loves and wants to have fun in life before she dies. I wonder how I would have done as a hippie. Anyways.
I was just thinking about life because I had a long talk with my parents tonight and I can�t stop thinking about Trevor and well I did spend the day with him soooooo its been on my mind.
About my day�. It was fantastic. And Trev WASN�T a chipmunk so he�s lucky. His mom and him picked me up from the Uni-mart where I fled to from my house. That wasn�t the smartest thing, just getting up and leaving and I�ve learned that that�s not going to help in life, however if I hadn�t done that today events may have varied and today was the perfect day so I regret nothing.
And so we went to Giant to get drinks and Trevor food (aka rootbeer Italian ice). And Liz and I have had this conversation before about people grocery shopping together since we are both cashiers and we see many people. And I decided with her that it makes me really happy when a couple shops for food together because honestly there�s no need for two people at a store and the fact that they want to do that together is really sweet� anyways that�s what we did there. I can�t work the express lines well lol because I was constantly touching the bags buuuuut it made me laugh and Darlene (trevs mom) is so awesomely nice and shes just great. I wasn�t allowed to make Trevor laugh in the car�. And when he was going to he held his cheeks so he wouldn�t� I loved it.
Ahhh I�m just realizing how long this could essentially be because the grocery store paragraph was long and I didn�t even mention that we got a mango drink or energy drinks or any other details that I remember. This is tough because I want to remember all the details like how this stuff there on the end of the aisle reminds him of sean because sean has the most random lunches or that they make a peanut butter flavored Italian ice.
But I can�t go into every thought I had for every detail that happened.
Cantaloupe. I took the grocery bags in and we put them on the kitchen table and proceeded to cram the drinks in the fridge in front of a cantaloupe. His dog Molly is really hyper, and its amazing me now that I want to remember so much detail. I wonder if it�s because I know he�s leaving and I can�t take a moment with him for granted. I wonder if its because it was a perfect day.
I�m going to start summarizing now and someday I will hate myself for this I know.
Ah Trevor�. Got suspended for gliking once and it drives his dogs crazy and his ceiling is high so its sweet to play football�. Then we went upstairs and it was really cool because everything was in the hallway but it was this little bed made out of pillows and blankets and it was soo comfy and he had his new book that analyzes the DaVinci code and so we started reading at chapter three� and this little girl wasn�t allowed to wear a pink dress because her mom was a feminist. And at first I didn�t read the italicized words at the top of the page and I thought a quote was explained on a page in the 200s and then he made me realize it was a citation however when that question was asked again (if jesus was the first true feminist) it was never answered. Or at least in the pages that we read.
My mind stopped processing the pages and we gave up on that and turned on my cds, the mush mush for trev one� haha. And there was billy joel and I know we were sitting doing something as we listened� oh yeah� we thumb wrestled and no one ever won becauseeeee it had to be down or 39 seconds. Then we discussed more battle scars and his from two male dogs.
My mind gets funny for middle details and the order they happened so it will essentially be mush from here on out. We went downstairs and made chicken ramen noodles and sat at the table and ate them, trev doesn�t measure the water and its good cuz the noodles were good, I also had a fruit and nut bar. From our eating I know�. The noodles were hot�we watched the full house where steph was afraid danny was going to die in an earthquake, I put my gum in a napkin and the bug got put in there too. Afterwards Trev got his ice on, Darlene showed how missy and molly can do AMAZING tricks that my dog couldn�t do and she took pics of trev and I
Then we went back upstairs and I tortured trev with MY camera�. And we played fusion frenzy. Trev was greeeeen and even though I won the first game my luck with my pink girl, he ended up winning and his green guy was like WOOHOOO! Then some minigames, twisted system and I did decent but trev went for the best and I harassed him further with pictures. And there are ducks�on the bars that you have to duck under. I changed to the blue girl for that round.
Trevor played his guitar, he played I Remember You and I sang along. He�s so good at guitar its amazing.
We watched full house for a while, joey and jesse got in a fight about ads and such and so we took a nap. And neither of us slept. We just laid there with our eyes closed playing with each others hair. �I don�t wanna miss a thing��. I never really understood I mean I did, but never truly experienced that just imagined the feeling and laying with him, I didn�t want to sleep, I just wanted to watch him because I knew I couldn�t watch him forever. I engrained him in my memory. I made sure of that.
Eventually we had to wake up becausssseeee it was almost fantasy football drafting time. So until it was I attempted to play ode to joy and we sat by the computer. Thennnnn was the draft and he was third or maybe 4th to pick but in any case I watched and it was intense if I understood. So I just took more pictures. And then trev got more medicine!!!! Woooo! And jen called so I answered and shes bringing him soup tonight. And thennnn Trevor kidnapped me and put me over his shoulder and carried me to the bed and I knocked over the Who cd haha. Buuuut he did that three times and I didn�t hit anything the otherrrrrrs.
And we tickled each other and I remember something about his ice being on but it fell off and soooo we were able to kiss and we did� for a long time. And I love kissing him he such a soft kisser. I don�t know what to say about this, I just know it was PERFECT and I hid under the blanket and he kissed me.
And we watched boy meets world and tapanga proposed to corey and we laid there and cuddled and watched. And during commercials he gave me a back massage and I gave him one once I was reminded and he figured out what fingernails are for.
And it was a perfect day.
And he wouldn�t let me look at him! But he�s too cute so I HAD to. And he was wearing his hooker shirt, aka a white wife beater and he looked amazing. And there was a sock in his pillow case and he unwired his slot machiene because his brothers always played it and Rough Draft by yellowcard I will learn.
Then I got driven home and had to face the folks which wasn�t too bad because I now have to pay for everything and basically be a boarder, but we had one of our only real talks ever. So it was nice. I don�t care if im poor.
I�m at a troubled situation about if im still sneaking out the night before trev leaves to see him. I don�t want to get in more trouble, but I know im going. I don�t know how to go about it cuz I know I can get out but I may get caught, and I don�t want to be in more shit after I feel like they may actually understand me. I�m not sure. I�m tired though and have no internet so I can�t post this for a while.
Trev made me another cd�. And if id have had blank cds� 6 of his 18 tracks would have been the same on the one I had ready for him.
Kissing�.look at him in his eyes, smile �So you�re Trevor Shipley�
And I don�t know how I never heard of him before. But when someone asks me I can say I do know him, and I WON�T remember him as some red riding hood helmet.
I wonder how he�ll remember me.
2:21 p.m. - 2004-07-29
Recent entries:
The book day one - 12-05-06
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