Wow...
Nick could have died, almost died...
Nick.... Nick Roberts
And that really scares me thinking that he was like a second from doing so because this is nick... The nick i stalked a fourth of my life basically.
He means the entire world to me and probably knows more about me than anyone I know in this world. He's been the single most influencial person in my life and im dead serious about that. Every bit of confidence i have i owe to him. Because he not only gives me confidnece when I'm around him but he was my role model for years and i just looked at him and thought wow... hes so amazingly awesome and wanted to be that way. And now people comment on how ive changed since 9th grade and i know for a fact that i owe it to him. From the simple things as word im chill to calling me when he knew i was upset. He has shaped my life. And today, in this hour i want to say that i am so glad that he is alive and im so glad to be able to know him. When it comes down to it, i think of how i was upset about losing mitch as a bf.... and then i compare it to losing nick in life and i was deifinatly making too much of a deal about mitch.
He's ND
I seriously don't like thinking about that at all. The longer I think the more I realize.
And its not this big reality wave hitting me like wow... i never realized what he meant to me. I KNOW that. I KNOW that basically everything I am today is because of him and he probably doesn't even know that. Because he's not just the person who's been in and out of my life for four years he's somehow a lot like me in more ways that I ever knew till recently. And he's not just a guy who I see every few months and talk to in time spurts... even when im furious at him himself i still admire everything about him.
Crazt
Crazt crazy
I have realized though what I've been thinking all day. That lifes too short to put it on hold and just sit around and whine about little things.
So therefore!!! I'm gonna stop sitting around on my ass and do something! ...yeah I don't know what that is actually... first I plan to leave Liz a message because i miss her. And I want to call Hillary because I don't want to fight about this.
No ones here or I'd go chill dt, and the librarys closed already or id got check out the book trevor suggested. My rooms clean from this morning.. well
In any case I've learned a lot
All day I keep learning more and more
This is my 6th entry in one day... And I think thats a new record for this diary and my old one. Deifinatly for this one.
I'm blessed to have the people I do in my life.
And I'm glad I'm alive.
And I'm glad Nick is too.
...He's gonna think im crazy after this
Anyways
I'm out away from my computer cuz i have no reason to be sad and im not about to sit around here.
smile
8:22 p.m. - 2004-07-21
Recent entries:
The book day one - 12-05-06
random girls info - 06-01-06
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names of summer - 06-01-06
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