i'm not sure if life haas ever been this good and somehow i continue to be encouraged daily that I am on the right path.
the concert last night was amazing, i got to crowd surf for the first time and i didnt turn down the chance and regret it later. i drank from starting line's water, and i met so many people for only the night, but everyone was so nice.
i've become chill again, not like blah but i see the practicality in things and i'm starting to see people how they really are rather than how my mind built them up to be.
Nick Roberts was once my idol and my whole world. But now I really see him, lower class of the upper, tag along who everyone talks about behind his back, unable to commit because of the chase which he is becoming less and less successful at, slack off, lazy video game nerd, unemployed, cocky for no reason, very disrespectful and hurtful to people when they did nothing to deserve it.
I dont know how he ever got a girl like Jan Alex now that i really look at him.. and he THREW THAT AWAY! thats how stupid he is, he had the most gorgeous, cool girl and he trash talked her and dumped her in 2 weeks!
it really took years of trying to move on and coming back for me to realize live is happier without him. I like being wiht him... but after we hang out it goes downhill and i cling to him and get sad. Now... well now im just happy cuz i dont have him to lose.
And for the first time if he were to call me i wouldnt ask if he were sorry, i wouldnt yell at him and call him an asshole. I honestly would say- no thats alright but thanks anyway, and hang up.
Anyways lifes encouraging me with that through all the confidence im gaining in myself and what i like to do and who i choose to be.
today at work for the first time ever 2 guys flirted with me and one even came back hours later to find out more about me and give me his number to 'go out for coffee sometime, i dont drink coffee but you know thats what they do, icecream, pizza'
haha. and i usually run away from strangers, but im about to meet a lot in a few months. and maybe i will call him. whats there to lose?
10:14 p.m. - 03-15-05
Recent entries:
The book day one - 12-05-06
random girls info - 06-01-06
names of summer - 06-01-06
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