Today I have made myself sick from trying too hard to get over nick being in my life.
Every thought I've thought is the same. It goes along the lines of "when he knows this he will regret not being there for me", "when he hears this he will know its really over".
However I know that he probably will not care any more now than he ever did before and he's probably not even paying any attention to a single thing I put out there for him.
I need to start living what I say for me, and not for what he will think of it.
I have wasted a day trying to get away from a past that i regret and invested far too much time on. I didn't waste my day in mourning because i dont even miss him, i wasted it trying to prove that i wasn't.
i guess moving on in life is not showing the other person that you are okay without them, its just knowing that you are and letting go of them in your head.
7:32 p.m. - 01-17-05
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