I've been this invincible bitch lately.
Invincible meaning I'm a bitch to one person for an actaul reason and I become addicted thinking I can be a bitch to anyone and no one will care.
I shouldn't have been such a jerk to Mitch he didn't exactly deserve it and I didn't want to hurt him. It just seems like he still thinks we are what we 'were' before we officially dated and I just think of him as my really close friend no anything more or intimate.
It seems that Mitch and I tend to be really chill until he finds something he doesnt like about me in my diary. Thats why i started the whole myspace account to begin with. But I dont want to stop writing in here or censor myself in fear of Mitch.
To the outside world I am nothing. They dont see what all goes in here and so they don't have harsh judgements on me. If I let you in here this is what is going through my mind and my feelings, the stupid things that i do in my last few months of high school when I'll never see these people again. So don't judge so harshly.
I don't want a relationship, I don't want Mitch the way he wants to be and he asks " Why are you the only one I need and I don't like anyone else cuz youre all I want, and you can just move on?"
Good question. I always thought I liked him more but I'm not dependent on him. How do I answer that. And its with questions like those that I fuck up and say stuff I dont mean or say things with out thinking and hurt him more.
Maybe it'll be better that he doesnt have a window into my personal life.
6:39 a.m. - 01-10-05
Recent entries:
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