"its nick roberts, our protagonist!
hey guys, says he, i have a notion
ill get myself some aloe lotion
spread it all over my nuts
then do jhenry in the butt!"
You know, all of my high school life has been spent trying to get away from that title. Ironically the title and rep were given to me by the writer of that poem.
I wont do anything with anyone if I'm not with them, and even if I am with them its rare that I'll fool around. Girls will come up and say "guess who I made out with at this party?" When's the last time I ever did that? I've always stayed back in the shadows with my excuses in fear of being that girl again.
I worked my entire HS life to get rid of something like that which is now back again.
Except this time it's Nick. And I dont know what to think about that because he didnt tell anyone. I know that in essence this is my fault that Ward knows this now. But it makes me hate ND nevertheless.
Just working so hard and only ever having sex with him and then that being what brought everything I've worked for crashing down around me.
Thats my personal life, I dont want that shared to the world. And Nick and I don't have drunken raunchy sex. We have the most beautiful passionate sex.
I'm really dissappointed in myself too for telling people. I mean a lot of people know but why would you write a poem like that? I feel like I've let ND down in a way. Like he should hate me now, prolly does.
I don't like being posted on a website.
I think it goes to show you can work for anything but there are always assholes in life.
I guess the timing was perfect though because I was starting to fall into him again and lose myself.
Everyone in this world is going through something, all I can do it cope with it. Shit happens learn to deal.
I don't really want to go to his game anymore today. I hate seeing him again. He always tends to ruin my life by doing nothing.
This time I'm ruined by my own guilt.
However lifes not on standby, and ive gotta go on.
1:11 p.m. - 01-08-05
Recent entries:
The book day one - 12-05-06
random girls info - 06-01-06
names of summer - 06-01-06
names of summer - 06-01-06
one week in - 05-14-06
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